I would be curious to know your rank in your particular lodge. The higher ranks are very secretive and the lower ranks are slowly inducted into higher and higher ranks needing to prove their loyalty after a certain point. We know this because of some high ranking defectors from Masonic lodges who spilt the beans on some of the ceremonies at the top levels revealing the true anti-Catholic nature of the Freemasons. I don’t believe you have to believe in God to be in every Freemason lodge, perhaps the one you’re part of does, and they willingly accept all religions except for Catholicism. Perhaps at the lower levels it is permitted but higher up you must essentially renounce your Catholic life. This has been known for a long time now, so much so that multiple Popes over the centuries have condemned freemasonry and up until our wishy washy modern Popes, it was an automatic excommunication from the Catholic Church to attend or join a Freemason lodge or meeting. There are encyclicals written on the subject I suggest you give them a look if you’re interested in the reasoning behind them as they explain themselves well.