That way I can eat a whole bunch of spicy and cheesy gut rotting fast food, take an ungodly massive shit, not even bother to look at the toilet paper and then head on over for my swab. Might need a few backup swabs because I think the first couple dozen will be... Uhhh... Contaminated.
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If you prefer the anal swab over the nasal swab you may have a career in 'international courier services' PM me for delivery schedules.
No one's sticking anything up my ass but me. Fuck it I'll come in with a disposable buttplug if it means they won't be shoving sticks in me.
I feel like the nasal swab would be more painful, but the butt swab would be more uncomfortable, if that makes any sense. I'm used to picking my nose. I'm not used to having things shoved up my butt.
Also there's the whole having a total stranger interface with your asshole thing.
Wow you're pretty obsessed, aren't you?
We do? I'm just noticing you now.
Do I know you via other alts or something?
I mean I recognize your name but that's about it.