My dad gave me a plate of dogshit for breakfast. So I'm gonna and piss in an empty apple juice bottle and switch it out for the the real one.
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I hid a positive pregnancy test in my shorts pocket. My girlfriend is doing laundry today. Its just a matter of time until she goes ballistic screaming who did I get pregnant.
Better prepare yourself. If she believes it you're gonna have a high-heel lodged in your ass pretty quickly.
Its getting funnier one of her friends has posted a positive pregnancy test on her facebook feed.
https://scontent.fmnl5-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/166183370_3923901644371026_732551933201693062_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=5b7eaf&_nc_ohc=EMAY6qM8-tEAX9g4ErN&_nc_ht=scontent.fmnl5-1.fna&oh=a4381d122176ae006aacae7eed380cda&oe=608AD7AA
https://scontent.fmnl5-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/p843x403/166856100_3924228657671658_4369708684297719417_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-3&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=-2YG1PG2c4AAX8l53J2&_nc_ht=scontent.fmnl5-1.fna&tp=6&oh=6fce688ce9370347cc87feca05579a73&oe=608B106D
Heheheh. I hope your prank goes well for you dude. Hope your girl doesn't castrate you for it though.
eventually she will stab me in my sleep its part of the deal when you take on an asian half your age, I just reminder her that I am leaving everything to her cousin that introduced us and she won't allow within 100km of our condo. I mean kill me and she rids herself of me and the pain in ass I cause on a daily basis but in doing so she makes the woman she hates the most in this world relatively well off....
I might be an asshole